Once my feelings for white men are known, people are often confused as to why I would be dating an Asian guy now in my life. I get this inquiry often, so this post address that.
In the past, I used to date exclusively white men and wouldn’t even give any other guys the time of day. Unfortunately what I found is that the romance and commitment often faded pretty quickly (i.e., usually after two weeks) with those relationships. While in the first two weeks they would try to woo me, take me to nice restaurants/places, after a while it was just “lets stay in and fuck” either at their house or in cheap motels, eating taco bell.
In retrospect, I felt like the relationships were often treated as a novelty and the focus was just so that they could have sex with a different type of person – a conquest checklist. I did everything I could to make my white exes happy so that we could stay to see the day of maybe living together/wedding bells. My white girlfriend told me that was where I messed up, she says she withholds sex and uses it as a leverage to get what she wants and of course she’s engaged now. Maybe that’s it…..maybe I gave them no incentive to stay since I gave up everything I had… or maybe it’s just that white men, on average, would rather marry a blonde hair blue eyed white woman than someone like me.
I’ve had these talks with many people and the general consensus tends to be, as one white man I recently talked to put it:
“That’s often how it is with Asian girls. We’d generally rather marry white women. But Asian girls can be fun to fuck.”
I know this is not always the case (i’m not trying to paint all white men with a thick brush just saying these are my experiences) and there are exceptions (such as Mark Zuckerberg and his wife – the envy of all asian women as she got the white man to put a ring on it – a rich one at that!), but in general, it seems the whites I dated would rather marry their own. I was once told by an ex he wanted to pass down white traits to his kids and his family did not support interracial marriages so dating around is the best I can hope for in terms of commitment. I get it. Now every time I meet a new guy he tells me he is different, and that i just dated jerks, but 2 weeks later, dejavu and history repeats.
After these experiences, I started dating different people, including my asian boyfriend now. In the end, as much as I have been socialized to be attracted to white, I am also socialized (by Disney movies and the sort) to believe in marriage as the ultimate goal. My asian boyfriend is committed, romantic, sweet and nice. I think he would be able to provide me that.
I was initially bitter over it, why can’t I get the fairy tale ending like the blonde white women? Why do I have to “settle?” But after all this, I realized something, that’s just how the world is. I was delusional to think it would be different for me. I was constantly reminded that Asian women are a dime a dozen and I needed to accept my role in society. I’m not marriage material for the white man, i’m an asian fuckhole for them to use to get off and afterwards they return to their beautiful white families/wives. i have some white guys i talk to now, they remind me that what i need to be looking forward to is not marriage and that’s a fools dream, but rather I should look forward to big loads of white cum and the satisfaction of pleasing white men. I am starting to come to terms with that.