White Washed Asians (pt ii)

Dear Diary,
White Privilege can mean many things, such as the prestige associated with being White or even associated with Whites. Some White people don’t recognize this privilege – (ex: they might say I worked hard for everything I got, nobody handed me anything)  but to many minorities, the social capital associated with White is unmistakable. So much so that often, many of us try to assimilate ourselves into the White lifestyle. This goes beyond merely dating White people, but aspiring to live a white life and in many instances, trying to become more White in the process. I explain this in my post here:

https://asianamericangfonskype.wordpress.com/2017/03/05/self-hatred/

For those on the outside, this helps explain why so many minorities –

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but especially Asians, bleach their hair blonde, wear blue/green contacts and even bleach their skin (https://www.thebeautyinsiders.com/asian-skin-whitening.html) and (http://edition.cnn.com/2002/WORLD/asiapcf/east/05/13/asia.whitening/).

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Those who think its just about a racial preference in dating are missing the larger point. In our communities, there is even a term for this type of behavior, usually pejoratively labeled “White Washed.” Urban dictionary defines it as :

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or

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I think this is a brief but pretty spot on definition. I too have avoided my Asian lifestyle in public, such as eating Asian food or dating Asian guys for the longest time. I used to date only White guys and would literally leave the room if I was set up with someone who wasn’t White.

I have changed a bit since then, now I am dating an Asian guy (see here: https://asianamericangfonskype.wordpress.com/2017/04/29/why-am-i-dating-an-asian-guy-if-i-have-such-an-attraction-for-whites/), started to accept eating Asian food more in public and hanging out with more Asian friends. I still harbor many white Washed tendencies though, in fact I took an online White Washed survey and scored this:

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I think my experiences, especially with the White men that I dated made me realize several things. 1) Even though I am Half White, my minority features make it so people still identify me as Asian than White. I use to just introduce myself as White but now I just say I’m Asian American. The one drop rule, if you are part minority and it is visible, you are that minority. This is the same as how half black/Whites  are seen more Black than White.

2) Related, I will never be a real full blood White woman. While some individual guys here and there may say they like Asian girls, at the end of the day, The movies, Maxim magazines and sports illustrated overwhelmingly remind us that Blonde Hair Blue eyed Women are still the standard of American Beauty. With the guys I dated, in the end, that was the type of woman they ultimately wanted to marry. There have been some theories floating around that I may be picking the wrong guys (see https://azngrl4whitegods.tumblr.com/post/159565110171/theres-probably-some-5f6-socially-awkward-not  and       https://azngrl4whitegods.tumblr.com/post/159085615656/diary-from-the-history-pages-of-chat-log). That is, any old out of shape loner white guy might want to marry me, but if I am dreaming of marrying a Zac Efron level White guy, I need to quit dreaming because those guys are reserved for White Women. Women like the girls below which I will never compare to:

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3) The best I can hope for from guys like that, is that they would take some moments of their day to shove their cocks into my lil jap holes for their pleasure. They may not be able to give me commitment, but they can give me a real good pounding and I can spend my future years thinking back on it when they are no longer in my life.

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I have been told several times, instead of focusing on what I don’t have with them, I should just “enjoy the moment while it lasts.” So the takeaway message, we aren’t White stop deluding ourselves, we should count our blessings if we get to be a hot White man’s fuck toy even if its for brief moments…

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And if we behave and are good, maybe he’ll leave us with a parting gift.

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