Reason for blockage uncovered, Asian Community Silences my Voice and claim I’m a “White Troll’ based on shoddy research

Dear diary,

I recently submitted some posts to YOMYOMF webpage and my posts mysteriously disappeared. I wasn’t quite sure why but apparently now I know. It seems members of the Asian community rallied to have my voice silenced again.

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Initially YOMYOMF had some integrity and said what they should have – that is I didn’t violate any rule so they should not have removed my posts:

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Screen Shot 2017-05-06 at 12.35.04 AMBut soon afterwards they caved in to bullying.

Then several members of their community decide to attack me, basically trying to tear down my character based on their shoddy “investigative practices” that are too dumb even to recount all of them but I will recite a couple.

First, I’m flattered they spent the time to write several pages of text to rant about me (literally several posters all go off on several pages), even though they were all derogatory and not based on facts. Let’s see what they said.

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Oh according to them I lied about my height, that I say I’m 5 feet 10 but later say something different… Umm maybe if you paid better attention you will realize 510 is not my height but an area code.

I’m apparently a “racist white guy” when I have spoken to many members of the Tumblr community and people that I known personally followed me as fans that can tell you number 1 that I’m an Asian girl, but not only Asian, because if you actually bothered to read my blog as opposed to cherry picking points to bash me, you would have read that i am actually part White!

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Then they say I promote someone named David Bond my supposed Idol, I don’t even know who that is. I just used a neutral pic on the website because they didn’t want anything explicit.

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Then they share some Tumblr page and say how awful it is and how awful I am, well that would have more merit if you actually highlighted the correct Tumblr page. That page highlighted is not even mine! LOL.

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Then they say I say I’m from California in one place and from the South in another.. so that must be obvious evidence that I’m lying right? Or MAYBE if they actually read my information instead of just looking for supportive “evidence” for their argument, they would see that I clearly mention I was ORIGINALLY from California and moved to the Southeast – since obviously someone failed Geography.

Then they say I use multiple names so I must be fake, clearly not ignoring the fact that on  my handle name “Apple” I use quotations to explicitly tell people that is NOT my real name.

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This is my favorite one, according to them I am a “White Male English teacher.” WTF? lol. I don’t even know where they got that. I guess they are trying to compliment me on my writing (So English teacher?) and at the same time say that no real Asian girl would actually be physically attracted to White Men over Asians and attracted to being more White in America, where White norms are socialized. I guess they never seen blonde Asian woman with blue contacts.

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The most sad part about this is at that I didn’t “pretend” to care about Asian issues. I really do care. I followed Jessica because like I used to, Jessica also dates a White man and knows it comes with baggage from the Asian community.

Also, I wasn’t trying to promote White Supremacy, I just spoke from the perspective of a girl who used to date white men exclusively and wanted to be full White – there are many many Asian girls like me – but of course you don’t want to hear that. Anyone with such a view must be a White man trolling according to you. You don’t care that I actually wanted to engage with the Asian American community online before I was banned and pushed away and turned to a White Man who guided me to Tumblr to speak more about my sex life and views of White men. Had the Asian community accepted me, I would not have had to turn there for a voice. If you actually followed and read what I had to say, you will realize that in the end I came to the conclusion that platform wasn’t right for me, despite having thousands of followers, because it focused entirely on sex whereas I am more interested in talking bout real issues affecting Asian American community. If you actually listened to what I had to say, you would hear that I constantly repeat that I love my Asian boyfriend, he is a great guy, and I am  not denigrating him or promoting so called White Supremacy – but honestly, the hate from the Asian community really makes me second guess that.


I just wanted to talk about my experience and views and process it with my supposed community who turned their back to me and resort to calling me names because they don’t want to hear what I have to say. I know now the community does not respond to reason. I can’t tell them I have these issues that I want to talk through. They rather throw me to the wolves and criticize me. And in all that anger and frustration who would I turn to, but the White man? Instead of asking why would I spend hours and hours “trolling” Asian sites to promote White Supremacy, maybe you should really be asking, what kind of problems is this girl really going through – do other people go through the same type of things and how can her story  help prevent that from happening in the future?

But they won’t listen. They will continue to call me names, say I’m a White Supremacist Troll – which is funny because that’s not even what I’m advocating for – and continue to block me from speaking and sharing my views so their echo chamber can try to make themselves better and pretend like racial preferences for Whites doesn’t exist in this society. Sigh. Sometimes I wish the Asian community was more supportive of their own and the issues in their community. Asians are not monoliths, there are many different type of Asians and I’m sorry not everyone is born with the “Asian Pride” mentality, but that doesn’t mean our views are any less important.


6 thoughts on “Reason for blockage uncovered, Asian Community Silences my Voice and claim I’m a “White Troll’ based on shoddy research

  1. I think it’s almost funny how narrow-minded people like this are. I have to wonder if it’s a case of not wanting to admit feelings they’ve had and dismiss them as a white racist’s tirade. I have spoken to the girl behind this blog and can confirm to anyone who has doubts that she is who she says. In silencing the views of those who disagree- despite actively trying to find a community to share these issues with- they’re the ones driving a wedge. They are no doubt driving people to suppress strong influences in their lives and eliminate a medium to find comfort. So thank, internet detectives, you’ve abandoned someone trying to be a part of your community and made them look to others who will be more sympathetic of their views


  2. Goodness what a shit show! Sure the things you write are difficult and at times unpleasant for some people to hear, but isn’t that what life is about? When we shit people out and shout them down, we do not take the time to hear the truths that may actually make us all a little more compassionate!


  3. It is unfortunate she has to get all this hate from small minded people. I know the blog’s author personally and she is a wonderful and kind person. If we all learned to try to understand each other more, the world would be a much better place.


  4. AA’s are pushing you away … right down to your knees before embracing white gods! Sometimes you need to be reminded of your place 🙂


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